Healing: A New Template for Relationships

In the early morning hours of June 10th, I received a “download” regarding “healing relationships.” This download was to heal any kind of relationship—romantic, familial, platonic, or professional. I remember being told, or being aware, that I was receiving “a new template” for relationships. I saw what looked like a clear plastic sheet about the size of an iPad Mini, inscribed with words or code that I couldn’t read.

During this process, I kept thinking how important all this information was, and was doing my best to remember it. But of course, what I’m conveying here is all that I can consciously remember. I’m certain, though, that all of it is stored in the memory banks even if it’s not currently available to my conscious ego mind.

Before I went to bed that night, my husband and I had been having an important discussion about an issue that if not resolved, threatened the future of our otherwise happy marriage. When we went to bed, we were in a tender, loving space even though we had not yet reached a place of resolution. When I awoke the next morning after receiving the download, nothing of the issue mattered to me. All I could feel was how much I love my husband and how grateful I am to have him in my life. A couple days later, he kept telling me the same thing—quite repetitively, actually—with a depth and intensity I hadn’t felt in quite a long time.

It seems the “new template” worked.



Total Solar Eclipse – August 21st 2017

I had a dream recently about the upcoming total solar eclipse on August 21st of this year, 2017. It was noteworthy in that I was completely lucid in the dream and was trying very hard to remember all the information being conveyed to me because it was important. However, I can only remember what I’ve written here.

During the eclipse in the dream, I saw a light in the corridor of my house; it had a magnificent corona around it, similar to the sun’s corona during a total solar eclipse. It appeared as a huge, whitish gold plasma field emanating from the light and it seemed very much alive and sentient.

I thought, Wow! This is amazing, and I marveled at the wonder of it. Then later as I passed a window or mirror, I saw my reflection and I too, had this amazing plasma-like corona emanating from me. I became very excited and filled elation. I noticed that my husband also had the same type of corona about him. A feeling overcame me of limitless possibilities that had never before been available to me. It truly felt like anything I could conceive I could do, and my heart was filled with great joy.

However, not everyone was affected by the eclipse in the same way. Many people were dying because of the eclipse. People were beginning to panic. Nonetheless, I knew that those people who were “dying” were not actually “dead” but were being ushered into a space more suitable for them, as I and others who were experiencing the corona and elation were moving into a space more suitable for us. I knew that regardless of how things appeared outwardly, there was nothing to worry about; that even though this event seemed like a disaster from one perspective, something wonderful was happening.

Just before I awoke from the dream, I saw an image of me leaning over to kiss Captain Picard from the TV series, Star Trek: The Next Generation. I am a huge Star Trek fan, and for me Captain Picard represents the quintessential explorer. This is relevant because I see my truest essence as a Creator/Explorer, and my purpose here has been to explore and learn from this Creation. Thus, this dream also represents to me the possibility of extending my explorations to even deeper regions of my core Self and advancing my level of consciousness.

Captain Picard also represents the embodiment of the world of The Next Generation. It is a world that has made peace with itself, a world that not only no longer pursues economic gain at the expense of others, but has dispensed with money entirely. It is a world that is driven by the desire to learn, to explore, and to better oneself through the pursuit of knowledge, creativity and striving to reach one’s highest ideals. Clearly though, in the series and the movies, it is a world still much affected by human flaws and is far from perfect. However, it is a major step up from the state of barbarism and savagery we experience today. So for me, the image of leaning over to kiss Captain Picard also represents my willingness to embrace (and possibly merge with) a higher, more advanced version of human consciousness, as well as a balancing of my inner masculine and feminine.

I see the energy of this eclipse as ushering in all these possibilities. Regardless of what events may unfold around this eclipse, for me it feels like an incredibly cathartic and positive event.

I present this dream to those who may be reading it solely as another perspective to consider and I am not making any predictions about what will happen as a result of this eclipse. Eclipses have a way of showing us what we have hidden from ourselves, and it will no doubt affect everyone differently and in deeply personal ways. However, I would urge anyone reading this to look deeper than the superficial world affairs of conflict and chaos, and to go within and explore what it reveals for you. My feeling is that some people will respond to this energy quite ecstatically, and others will feel fearful about it. There is no right or wrong in this and we must each reckon with ourselves. Set your intentions for your highest vision of yourself and focus only on that… and see what possibilities are revealed.

*Image copyright 2006 Stefan Seip, Stuttgart


The Joy Particle

I’d like to share some experiences from 2014 that may be of interest here. The energies I was experiencing at that time seemed to fluctuate between moments of intensity, prolonged periods of restlessness and—dare I say it—boredom. The following is a journal entry I recorded around that time:

“I will describe the loveliest experience first. It happened in mid or late July 2014. I was at work, feeling typically numb and focusing on my job. Then I felt it. It was so incredibly brief I could have easily missed it and continued on without another thought. But I didn’t miss it. I can best describe it as The Joy Particle. It felt as if a particle of pure, ecstatic joy entered my body through my back between my shoulder blades and exited through my chest. It passed through in what must have been a nanosecond; almost imperceptibly fast, yet just enough to register within my awareness. Although the moment was exceptionally brief, it was intense. The experience was Joy—ecstatic, beautiful perfection, beyond anything this shadow world can offer, almost mind blowing in its wonder. I stopped what I was doing as it registered within me and began to cry. I couldn’t help it; I felt such gratitude for the experience. The dark moments in this world are so dark, nearly intolerable, and this was a gift that I have continually returned to in reveries when I feel I am reaching my threshold of pain and grief.

Then I began to wonder why the experience was so brief. Immediately the answer emerged. It would have been overwhelming; the body would not have been able to tolerate it. I have a feeling too, that it was a prelude of things to come. There may be more of these “Joy Particles” and others may begin feeling them as well, if they haven’t already. I do know, however, that if I experience it again I will gladly surrender to it even if it turns this body to ash.

I should mention that there were some experiences prior to the Joy Particle that were not at all lovely, and were actually quite harrowing. I feel they were connected to the Joy Particle experience in some way, though my mind cannot as yet understand how. During this period I was experiencing intense night terrors. I would awake from a seemingly peaceful sleep screaming in terror, as if someone had awoken me with electric shocks. These were truly horrible, horrible experiences. Most of these fears were based in the mentality of survival and the belief in “death.” Although mentally and experientially I know that what I truly am cannot die, the programming of such is so deeply encoded into our biological vessels and the operating system of this particular holo-program (I won’t call it “reality” because what we experience here is nothing of the sort), it seems we have to pass through some kind of cathartic process to de-program ourselves of it.

What is interesting to me is that every single person I know who is committed to the path of “ascension” or reconnecting to their real life outside of this Holodeck program is going through the same thing—intense fears for their survival with frequent visits of the panic parade circling the house and occasionally getting swallowed up in it for hours if not days on end. For me, the brunt of it has passed and I’m beginning to feel rather numb to it all. Truly, how much fear and abject terror can one endure, pass through without harm, and not begin to realize that it is simply a process and not the end? For heaven’s sake, I even nearly died from a heart attack during this time. It was clear my body was “dying”. So this is it, this is how I leave this world, I thought, and I was accepting of that. I was lucid and unafraid during the experience and decided to wholly surrender to it. As soon as I did, the pain and pressure subsided and I was able to breathe and move again. I then wondered if I should go to the doctor or hospital and my inner voice said no, that they would find nothing wrong with me to explain what happened. And here I am, physically fine. (I should mention that I did go to a doctor some time after that, and they did an electrocardiogram in addition to some other tests, and my heart is in excellent health.)

What is a wonder to me is that even during that highly tumultuous time, I would experience moments of inexcusable joy. By “inexcusable” I mean joy that has no logical reason for being there; it is not predicated on any external circumstance, it just is. Ironically, this would usually unfold while I was at work of all places! I would feel total peace and contentment for everything exactly as it is—no need or desire to change anything; perfect clarity of mind and an inherent knowing that regardless of how things appear, there is absolutely nothing to fear or worry about. I would also feel deep connection and compassion with everyone around me, a playful light heartedness and an overriding feeling of gratitude for everything I’ve experienced here, even the most painful and traumatic moments. This joy would last for a few hours to a day. I am continually awed that I am capable of feeling such rage, fear, trauma, and grief in any given moment, and at the same time feel wholly at peace with it and in gratitude for everything I’ve experienced. Most importantly, I feel wonder about being willing to relinquish all of it.

Even though I am the one experiencing these things, my mind continues to marvel at it all and simply cannot grasp it. These are times that defy reason; simply to experience is key, and the mind can only expand when it treads into realms as yet unexplored.

Image courtesy